I am hating myself since yesterday 1630 till today. Why? I did a really big mistake causing the system update and the statistics not to tally. It is somehow a report for NATAS Fair showing the deposit amount. I really have no idea what went wrong. I thought I had updated every single NATAS fair booking and highlighted them in the statistics but why it did not tally in the end? What had I done wrong?

I was totally not in the mood to celebrate Shi Yun's birthday yesterday. I was crying in my heart for this stupid mistake and I really wanted to vomit in the toilet and go home straight. But I stayed till we saw Phyllis and gave her a big big hug and wish her all the best in Shanghai.

The stress level that I am undergoing now is so great that I am actually having some bad thoughts. My company is at the 33rd floor so you should know what was I thinking about but thinking back at my family and friends, how hurt they will be, I am pushing this thought away. I had lost a friend through suicide and I don't wish for my friends to go through the same pain I had at that time.

I want to have a hearty cry.